Couldn't Help Noticing

You need more dating

I've often wondered whether you end up feeling like a second-class citizen if you're a Mormon, given the Mormon emphasis on family and children. “Alone in the Pews”, an article in Time magazine, presents a snapshot of the modern-day dilemmas of the LDS church. With singles on the rise and fewer children being born, how is the LDS taking care of its single membership? By doing the following:

1. Establishing congregations or “wards” just for singles (most of these focus on the 18-30 age group and there are few options for those who are older);
2. Sponsoring programs for singles;
3. Encouraging singles to date more (LDSHearts.com is a popular internet dating site and some wards regularly hold dances so singles can get toether and suss each other out).

Of one of these dances, the article reports,

Michael Mohan went to one in Denver on a recent Friday and another in Colorado Springs, Colo., the following night. He was excited to see how well members encouraged one another to connect at the Saturday affair. He did his part too, securing phone numbers from four women that night. “I'm not going to stay single forever,” he vows.

So despite all the programs and structures being set up to cater for singles in the LDS church, the overwhelming message is: “You ought to get married”. Mohan is 40. He's been a Mormon all his life and he acknowledges, “The church is kind of set up for people who are married”. This is an appropriate reflection of what Mormons believe: that God is married and that, by marrying and having children, Mormons can also become gods.

What about Christians? We don't believe that God has a wife. Jesus himself was single. We also don't believe that it is necessary for us to be married in order to receive salvation. Though marriage is a wonderful gift from God, even Paul acknowledges that “those who marry will have worldly troubles” (1 Cor 7:28).

So are our churches set up primarily for people who are married? Do they consistently separate out singles from the rest of the flock simply because they are single? Do singles separate themselves out from the rest of the flock because they feel like they don't fit in and no one understands them? Do the marrieds in our midst drop inappropriate comments and hints about getting married to their single friends and do the singles ostracise them for it?

As the body of Christ, redeemed by the same blood, whether single or married, divorced or widowed, Jew or Gentile, slave or free, our beliefs render such behaviour unacceptable. Single people are not second-class citizens just because they're single. Nor are marrieds an insular group who've completely forgotten what it's like to be single. But we are all part of the bride of Christ, waiting for our final union with our loving Bridegroom at that last great wedding supper of the Lamb. God may not have a wife now: but one day he will.