More things I couldn’t help noticing on a trip to the USA…
In my earlier posts, I've been telling you a little about my visit to the International Christian Retail Show in Denver. I know you just want to hear about the funny stuff I saw. And, though I don't particularly want to poke fun at things that I'm sure help some people somewhere, there were a few classics that caught my eye. Such as...
- The Official New Century Version Duct Tape Bible. “The first-ever Bible wrapped in duct-tape! ... We did the work for you ... Durable enough to take anywhere—finally a Bible that is tough enough to use in real life”. See www.ducttapebible.com. (No word in the ad about a life-time warranty.)
- Yankee Candle [R] Delivers more sales with Passion! I quote: “Fragrance is at the heart of everything we do. It's who we are. It drives us to create evocate (sic), long-lasting scents in candles and home fragrancing products, such as our Electric Home Fragrance Units for every style, taste and occasion.”
- “A Symbolic Gift of Love Your customers will want to know. The tear bottle tradition takes inspiration from the Bible and is a compassionate custom that has endured for more than 3,000 years. Timeless Traditions has reintroduced the tear bottle to contemporary gift-givers as a symbolic way to express shared feelings of love, sorrow, joy, and remembrance. Tear bottles express emotions in a way that no other gifts can. And their versatility allows them to be sold year-round.”
- VeggieTale Seeds When you're on a good thing, milk it for all its worth and then some! That, at least, seems to be the theory behind this great idea. This company sells little seed packets so that kids can grow their very own vegetables. “You know that VeggieTales stories and characters spark your children's imagination, and help them to grow spiritually. Well, Veggie Tales seed packets from the Ferry Morse seed company will grow their intellect and understanding of God's creation as they nurture the growth of their own garden.”
- Your child's name used 98 times in 8 songs This was the (apparently sole) selling-point for a personalised music CD for kids. (Yes, let's teach the littlies that they are the centre of the universe—they'll never pick that up if we don't model it to them.)
- My second favourite booth was one for a supplier of Christian jewelry, because of its brilliant slogan: Spreading the Gospel one piece of jewelry at a time.
- But my favourite booth, I think, that seemed to encapsulate all that was most superficial about the Christianity on offer at the ICRS, was the booth selling Good Newz Temporary Tattooz.
Space prevents me from telling you more about the Christian karaoke supplier, or the “full armour of God” costume for kids, or the “Bible Man” computer game, or the positively appalling wall hangings of Jesus, or ...
All I can say is that there are times when I am very glad that we are 7,500 miles away from the USA, and that as a result most of the hawkers of such “inspirational” products don't think it is worth their while to ship them to us Down Under.