When you despair of life itself
It's easy to think of Paul as being some sort of super-Christian. He was zealous for the gospel; he prayed “constantly”; he was so passionate about the truth that he authoritatively rebuked the Apostle Peter—the Apostle Peter!—when Peter stopped eating with the Gentiles and led the rest of the Jewish Christians astray; as he travelled all over the Mediterranean, churches sprang up in his wake; he healed the sick, cast out demons and raised the dead (1 Thess 1:2, Gal 2:12-13, Acts 19:11-12, 20:7-12). Oh sure, he was persecuted, beaten, stoned, imprisoned, shipwrecked and run out of town, but he always seemed to bounce back: nothing got him down. After all, this is the man who said, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (Phil 4:11).
Then the other day I read 2 Corinthians 1 and was struck by the part where Paul wrote,
For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. (vv. 8-9).
Sometimes I forget that Paul had a lot to be depressed about. He was rejected and persecuted by his own countrymen, he saw churches he planted waver from the gospel (e.g. the Galatians) and tear themselves apart through internal fighting (e.g. the Corinthians), the very people he ministered to were quick to reject his leadership when more impressive “super-apostles” came along (e.g. the Corinthians again), he saw members of his flock fall away (e.g. Hymenaeus and Alexander), his friends deserted him (e.g. Phygelus, Hermogenes and Demas), his friends died (e.g. Onesiphorus) and, on more than one occasion, he came face to face with his own frail mortality. No wonder sometimes he “despaired of life itself”.
And yet in that very same chapter, he wrote,
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Cor 1:3-4)
Did God's comfort only apply when Paul was being persecuted on account of his faith? Was this comfort only received when Paul suffered for the sake of Christ? No, the “God of all comfort” comforted Paul and his companions in “all” their affliction (emphasis mine)—when they were beaten, when they were stoned, when they were imprisoned, when they were betrayed, when they were deserted, when they were starving, when they were cold and, of course, when they were sad. And Paul recognized that these things happened “to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (v. 9). The God who has the power of resurrection—the power to give life to dry bones, the power to resuscitate our walking corpses, the power to raise Jesus victorious over death—delivered Paul from “such a deadly peril” and he would deliver Paul again (v. 10).
The good news is that the thing that comforted Paul during his darkest hour also comforts us. When we hit rock-bottom and start to ‘despair of life itself’, no matter what our circumstances, the “God of all comfort” will be there to deliver us. Like Paul, set your hope on him for he will deliver you again and again.